A Parent’s Guide to Weddings

Planning and attending a wedding is one of the most stressful events a person will go through. Although it is also one of the best events, so taking the good with the bad exactly sums up the process of planning a wedding. Most of the stress will fall upon the bride and groom as they deal with relatives, making sure everything is finished, and looking ahead to starting out their life together, there is also a major stress that is put upon the parents. For most parents, involving yourself in planning the wedding will be a natural duty. Brides often revert to asking their mother for help and for their opinion on a variety of matters from place settings to where colors her shoes need to be. Parents are also often on the receiving end when it comes to stress boiling over. A bride, and grooms for that matter, will seek comfort or to vent upon their parents when things have begun to go wrong with all their plans. For this reason, parents too need support and advice during the process of planning and enduring a wedding of their son or daughter. Below is a collection of compiled tips that parents may need, or at least they may need to take a look at after things go downhill during the process.

Communication with the Other Half: This is a step that most parents aren’t familiar with. Ether one side is in charge of everything, or the other side handles the majority of tasks. Even if this is a factor in your son or daughter’s wedding, keep in mind that being cordial with the other parental-half can put both sides at ease. Plan a small dinner with the other side of parents and get to know them at least on a general basis. There may not be any further meetings with them, but a single meeting to show your united love for the happy couple, and willingness to combine families, will make things a little easier for your son or daughter.

If You Pay for the Wedding…: Paying for the traditionally falls upon the parents of the bride. Because of this, you might find yourself wanting to offer your input a little more than you usually would if the bride were paying for it herself. This is easily understandable and can be remedied by some strong communication with your daughter. Sit down and talk to her about your thoughts on the wedding and how you would like to see if be done, and then listen to her desires. Get a notebook and write down the items on the list that you can both agree on. If your budget doesn’t include some of the things she wants, ask her if she would like to pay for some of these items. Or, if she wants a smaller wedding while you want a grander event, talk things out and see if she would allow you a little more freedom in making her day special. At the end of the day, you may have to compromise a bit more. This is her day, after all.

Learn to Deal: For some parents, the stress of the day can be a huge burden that’s liable to explode at any moment. As a parent you have to deal with helping your son or daughter, while also seeing them become more independent and, at the end of the day, letting them go off to start their own life with someone else. For this reason, amongst a lot of other reasons, learning to deal with whatever comes along, and letting it go, is a very important lesson for parents to take to heart. You won’t always agree with what you child wants. Arguing them down won’t help much in the grand scheme of things. Resentment before the wedding is definitely not a great idea. Getting along with everyone during the wedding is also important to remember. There is likely to be someone attending that you dislike. This is natural. Exchange polite greetings and then moving on is the most efficient way to deal with this issue. Learning to deal with all the rough points will allow the wedding to go far smoother than if you jumped on every distressing point.

Simply Be There: This is the easiest tip to give to parents. Just being there for your son or daughter is the most important role you can play in the entire wedding. Help when you’re asked to help, comfort them when things go wrong, and be happy and joyful when the big day comes. Being a parent instead of a teacher or instructor for the day will help them know that there is a steady place they can turn to when all the planning gets to them. Being a parent and being there for support is exactly what you need to do during the planning and wedding.

Not every wedding goes as planned and there will be times of stress on all sides. Learning to communicate effectively and calmly with your child might end up saving everyone a lot of stress. Always remember that planning a wedding is a tense time and a little compassion and understanding can go a long way.

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